Who would you call with your one phone call if arrested? (No lawyers!)
That's easy! Not only would I call Paris Hilton, but I would ask her these questions:
1. Paris, how can I manipulate the authorities around me to either get out of jail or sent to a medical facility?
2. Paris, I really want to change as a person, what books, etc do you recommend I read while in jail? I've already read the Bible, the New Times and the Secret... fantastic!!!
3. Paris, how can I arrange to have a private cell with private shower time?
4. Paris, when I get out of jail will you show me how to drive with a suspended licensce?
Assumming she answers my collect call I would ask her these questions. I only listed 4 because I would have to be considerate of other inmates and share the phone priveledges.
What do you absolutely refuse to eat?
Pretty much anything pig. I have never been a big fan of bacon or ham. I also will never eat sausage, hotdogs, corn dogs, rye bread, bologne, pork chops, roast beef, salami... that's about all I can think of right now.
Damn I sound like a picky eater. I do eat a lot of things the "average" person wouldn't touch with a 10-foot pole.
I haven't had the luxury of reading too much of anything, not anything that I want to read anyways. However over the past weekend I went to visit my friend, Bette (she's probably the only one reading this) and I took a book along with me, "Snow Flower and the Secret Fan". The title doesn't sound as great as the book is, trust me.
It's basically about a girl named Lily that lived in nineteenth-century China. During that time foot binding and arranged marriages were quite popular. I would have chosen to be poor because then you wouldn't have to forced to break your toes for no damn good reason. Anyways, the book was so interesting yet repulsive (with details) that I was able to finish the book on my way home from my trip.
Here is my favorite part of the book,
"Do you like bed business? Snow Flowere asked, when she was sure everyone was asleep.
For so many years we had heard the bawdy jokes told by old women or the offhand remarks made by Aunt about the bed fun she and Uncle had. All of that had been very confusing, but now I understood that there was nothing confusing about it.
"My husband and I are like two mandarin ducks," Snow Flower prompted, when I didn't respond right away. "We find mutual felicity in soaring together."
The first time I read this I laughed really hard. And now for your viewing pleasure... the perfect little lillies:
Today I'm going to go see an awesome concert at Shoreline Theater in San Jose. I went to see Joanna Newsom in Santa Cruz several months ago. She was amazing. I can't wait to see the two in concert together tonight.
What books did you love as a child?
Submitted by hearts.
My sister actually owned the book, but we shared all of our books. My favorite one was probably the picking your nose poem (that's not the actual name of the poem), you know which one I'm talking about...
"...if you stick it too far it'll bite the whole darn thing off."
I'll have to look it up...
What are some of your favorite holiday traditions?
Submitted by sami711.
Every year my dad always makes up some new tradition, and then gets personally offended when we tell him it's boloney and he just made it up.
"We've do this EVERY year guys, we've been doing it for years!"
Well, that's just plain nonesense. My dad was in the Army for 22 years and it wasn't until 5 years ago that he was finally in one place for longer than a year. Anyhow, no matter how many times we moved there was one tradition that I always enjoyed. We always invited a lot of people (some that we knew, most that we didn't) to have Christmas dinner with us. It's almost like a Thanksgiving feast. There was usually someone from my dad's company that didn't have anywhere to go so we opened up our home and in they came. They usually got comfy really fast because my dad would slap a beer in their hands and chat them up - there were never any awkward silences.
Afterwards my dad and I would go to the barracks where all his soliders lived and we would knock on every single door to wish them a Happy Holidays. He always had leftover pumpkin pie or something with him to share. Whenever my little sister Rachael would go with us the soliders usually gave her candy canes or stuffed animals.
That's what I miss about Christmas with my dad.
Why is it that once your spouse, fiance, or boyfriend leaves everything seems to fall apart? It's as if I'm not capable of handling things on my own, when usually I'm so independent,
"No, I'll hang those on the wall I know just how I want them."
"No it's okay I can take both cars in to get them detailed once you leave - it's easy."
Oh, if I could take back things that I've said. Once Shaun left for Florida everything fell apart. (Well it seemed like it the first day anyways). I had to take both of our cars in to get them detailed and washed. Obviously I can't drive them both at the same time, so I enlisted the help of a friend (she also happened to be borrowing one of the cars anyways). It wasn't even a long drive really. Maybe 15 minutes and right before we get to the place his car stops. No seriously, it was so overheated that the car just turned off. (by the way, I was in the normal functioning car otherwise I may have seen that it was overheating and pulled over sooner - it has a habit of doing that - peice of crap if you ask me). I could almost see the place where it needed to be, but I guess I wouldn't be taking it there anytime soon.
Not only did the car overheat, but when I called Shaun to call his insurance to get some roadside assistance he says,
"I don't have any of that, I don't need it."
Oh really, don't need it? Well then I guess I'll just push the car back home right? Who doesn't invest in AAA or roadside after your car has had problems for the past few months? Luckily the tow truck man was really nice and drove the extra 2 miles (even though he was only supposed to go 11 miles) to take the car back to our home.
Am I the only one that notices this though? Everything falls apart.
This is a weird request, but I can't find it online. I've been searching for Sleepytime tea, before I continue, it's NOT the Sleepytime tea from Celestial Seasons. I bought Sleepytime tea in London at Covet Garden (it's close to/in Picadilly area). There was this cute tea store and they sold my favorite tea. It was a powder tea (NOT in a tea bag) enclosed in a circular container with a moon and stars on it. My friend Erin also used to get this tea from the exact same place and we both forgot the brand of the tea. Maybe someone reading this will know what I'm talking about and help me out here. I miss my Sleepytime tea! :o(
Show us the first thing you see in the morning.
Submitted by The Gaping MAW.
There are a few things I see every morning, you be the judge of what you would prefer to view:
Spunkey sleeping on the floor....
Spunkey sleeping on the couch....
or the view of Pearl City, the moutains, and on a clear day the ocean from my lania...
Shaun was just about to leave to work out and when we opened the door we had a surprise visitor from the neighborhood stray. It was raining outside and "Spunkey" was filthy. When we first saw Spunkey he was really white, clean and soft and then gradually over the past few weeks he's been getting dirty and flea infested.
I told Shaun that while he was gone I would give Spunkey a bath, feed him some tuna and then play with him while he dried. After it stopped raining I would let him back outside.
Shaun came home about an hour later yelling through the door,
"Open the door, I need your help!"
I open the door and what do I see? Shaun with a crapload of cat stuff in his hands. He had a litter box, a cat cage, kitty litter, shampoo, tick and flee medicine, cat food, cat dish, etc. I look at him with my eyes wide open,
"Are you crazy? Where did you get all this stuff?"
"Ok, you twisted my arm enough. We can have him."
Spunkey has been in our house less than 24 hours, recieved 2 baths, several torturous hours of picking his fleas out, several fun hours of playtime and this is how he shows his appreciation:
He's out cold, on my bed! He sure did make himself comfy pretty fast! YAY! We have a cat!
